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Opis bloga
iz dana u dan nove misli se vuku a ovaj zatrovani um pretače ih u stihove, priče...
lyrics
Sober(tool)
There's a shadow just behind me,
shrouding every breath I take,
making every promise empty,
pointing every finger at me.
Waiting like a stalking butler
who upon the finger rests.
Murder now the path called "must we"
just before the son has come.
Jesus, won't you fucking whistle
something but the past and done?
Why can't we not be sober?
I just want to start this over.
Why can't we drink forever.
I just want to start things over.
I am just a worthless liar.
I am just an imbecile.
I will only complicate you.
Trust in me and fall as well.
I will find a center in you.
I will chew it up and leave,
I will work to elevate you
just enough to bring you down.
Trust me.
Mother Mary won't you whisper
something but what's past and done.
Trust me.
I want what I want.
Undertow(tool)
gone under two times.
I've been struck dumb by a voice that
speaks from deep
beneath the cold black water.
It's twice as clear as heaven,
and twice as loud as reason.
It's deep and rich like silt on a riverbed
and just as undisturbing.
the currents mouth below me opens up around me.
sests and beckons all while swallowing.
It surrounds and drowns and sweeps me away.
But I'm so comfortable...Too comfortable.
shut up shut up shut up shut up
shut up shut up shut up shut up
you're saturating me
So how could I let this bring me
back to my knees again again again
under for the third time.
I've been baptized by your voice.
it screams from deep beneath the endless water.
and it's half as high as heaven
and half as clear as reason.
it's cold and and black like silt on the riverbed.
But I'm so comfortable.
Far too comfortable.
Why don't you kill me,
I'm weak and numb and insignificant,
and I'm back on my knees.
lost in euphoria.
I'm back down. I'm in the undertow.
I'm helpless and awake in the undertow.
I'll die within your undertow.
It seems there's no other way out of this undertow.
euphoria.
Wish You Were Here (pink floyd)
So, so you think you can tell
Heaven from Hell,
Blue skys from pain.
Can you tell a green field
From a cold steel rail?
A smile from a veil?
Do you think you can tell?
And did they get you to trade
Your heros for ghosts?
Hot ashes for trees?
Hot air for a cool breeze?
Cold comfort for change?
And did you exchange
A walk on part in the war
For a lead role in a cage?
How I wish, how I wish you were here.
We're just two lost souls
Swimming in a fish bowl,
Year after year,
Running over the same old ground.
What have we found?
The same old fears.
Wish you were here.
Pet Sematary (ramones)
Under the arc of a weather stain boards
Ancient goblins, and warlords,
Come out the ground, not making a sound,
The smell of death is all around,
And the night when the cold wind blows
No one cares, nobody knows.
I don't want to be buried in a Pet Sematary
I don't want to live my life again,
I don't want to be buried in a Pet Sematary
I don't want to live my life again.
Follow Victor to the sacred place
This ain't a dream, I can't escape
Molars and fangs, the clicking of bones,
Spirits moaning among the tombstones,
And the night, when the moon is bright,
Someone cries, something ain't right.
I don't want to be buried in a Pet sematary
I don't want to live my life again,
I don't want to be buried in a Pet sematary
I don't want to live my life again.
The moon is full, the air is still,
All of the sudden I feel a chain,
Victor is grinning, flesh rotting away,
Skeletons dance, I curse this day,
And the night when the wolves cry out,
Listen close and you can hear me shout.
I don't want to be buried in a Pet Sematary
I don't want to live my life again,
I don't want to be buried in a Pet Sematary
I don't want to live my life again, oh, no, oh, no
I don't want to live my life again, oh, no, oh, oh
I don't want to live my life again, oh, no, no, no
I don't want to live my life again, oh, oh
There's a shadow just behind me,
shrouding every breath I take,
making every promise empty,
pointing every finger at me.
Waiting like a stalking butler
who upon the finger rests.
Murder now the path called "must we"
just before the son has come.
Jesus, won't you fucking whistle
something but the past and done?
Why can't we not be sober?
I just want to start this over.
Why can't we drink forever.
I just want to start things over.
I am just a worthless liar.
I am just an imbecile.
I will only complicate you.
Trust in me and fall as well.
I will find a center in you.
I will chew it up and leave,
I will work to elevate you
just enough to bring you down.
Trust me.
Mother Mary won't you whisper
something but what's past and done.
Trust me.
I want what I want.
Undertow(tool)
gone under two times.
I've been struck dumb by a voice that
speaks from deep
beneath the cold black water.
It's twice as clear as heaven,
and twice as loud as reason.
It's deep and rich like silt on a riverbed
and just as undisturbing.
the currents mouth below me opens up around me.
sests and beckons all while swallowing.
It surrounds and drowns and sweeps me away.
But I'm so comfortable...Too comfortable.
shut up shut up shut up shut up
shut up shut up shut up shut up
you're saturating me
So how could I let this bring me
back to my knees again again again
under for the third time.
I've been baptized by your voice.
it screams from deep beneath the endless water.
and it's half as high as heaven
and half as clear as reason.
it's cold and and black like silt on the riverbed.
But I'm so comfortable.
Far too comfortable.
Why don't you kill me,
I'm weak and numb and insignificant,
and I'm back on my knees.
lost in euphoria.
I'm back down. I'm in the undertow.
I'm helpless and awake in the undertow.
I'll die within your undertow.
It seems there's no other way out of this undertow.
euphoria.
Wish You Were Here (pink floyd)
So, so you think you can tell
Heaven from Hell,
Blue skys from pain.
Can you tell a green field
From a cold steel rail?
A smile from a veil?
Do you think you can tell?
And did they get you to trade
Your heros for ghosts?
Hot ashes for trees?
Hot air for a cool breeze?
Cold comfort for change?
And did you exchange
A walk on part in the war
For a lead role in a cage?
How I wish, how I wish you were here.
We're just two lost souls
Swimming in a fish bowl,
Year after year,
Running over the same old ground.
What have we found?
The same old fears.
Wish you were here.
Pet Sematary (ramones)
Under the arc of a weather stain boards
Ancient goblins, and warlords,
Come out the ground, not making a sound,
The smell of death is all around,
And the night when the cold wind blows
No one cares, nobody knows.
I don't want to be buried in a Pet Sematary
I don't want to live my life again,
I don't want to be buried in a Pet Sematary
I don't want to live my life again.
Follow Victor to the sacred place
This ain't a dream, I can't escape
Molars and fangs, the clicking of bones,
Spirits moaning among the tombstones,
And the night, when the moon is bright,
Someone cries, something ain't right.
I don't want to be buried in a Pet sematary
I don't want to live my life again,
I don't want to be buried in a Pet sematary
I don't want to live my life again.
The moon is full, the air is still,
All of the sudden I feel a chain,
Victor is grinning, flesh rotting away,
Skeletons dance, I curse this day,
And the night when the wolves cry out,
Listen close and you can hear me shout.
I don't want to be buried in a Pet Sematary
I don't want to live my life again,
I don't want to be buried in a Pet Sematary
I don't want to live my life again, oh, no, oh, no
I don't want to live my life again, oh, no, oh, oh
I don't want to live my life again, oh, no, no, no
I don't want to live my life again, oh, oh
Nisam više mogla izdržati u ovome stanu, nisa mogla slušati galamu i bijes. Uzla sam telefon u ruke i otipkala dobro poznati mi broj osobe koja me poznaje bolje nego bilotko, osobe koja zna cjelu moju životnu priću, koja može prodrijeti u moju dušu bez da joj išta kažem. Dogovorile smo se da se za 15 minuta nađemo u jednom bircu. Sjedimo mi i pijemo kavu, a bila je potištena, što je veoma čudno za to nasmijano lice. Pitala sam ju šta se desilo i čula još jednu tužnu priču. "Daj zamisli. Zvoni meni mobitel i javim se ja, stara me zvala i kaže ona meni znaš onu curu Sanju iz Varaždina. E maločas joj je tata umro u prometnoj nesreći." Nisam znala šta bi joj rekla niti kako da je utješim. Samo je još nadodala, ali to je prava ironija, čovjek je prodavao osiguranje za aute i onda umre u automobilskoj nesreći. Po neznam koji puta smo zaključile da je svijet lud. U bircu je bilo još uvijek malo ljudi, bilo je relativno rano za izlazak. Prošla nas je neka melankolija i tako reći onaj glup osjećaj kada ni sam neznaš šta da kažeš ili kako da se ponašaš. Započele smo novi razgovor na potpuno desetu temu; oraspoložile se i obje smijale i šalile. Odjednom moje se lice smrklo, oči se sklopile a zubi zagrizli šaku. Zašto ta pjesma, baš u tom trenutku, zašto? Pjesma koja budi uspomene na nekoga, a uspomene su tužne, bolne. Ona koja je sa mnom sjedila dobro je znala šta mi je i zašto sam postala tako naglo depresivna. Gledala me neko vrijeme, sve dok nisam bez riječi ustala i laganim korakom kao i uvijek otišla do wc-a. Kada sam se vratila, pogledala me i rekla da pogodim išla si jer si trebala bit na miru, isplakati se. Nisom to mogla ped njom sakriti, zna svaku moju gestu pročitati, bez da išta govorim čita me ko otvorenu knjigu. Počeo je razgovor o tome, bacila mi je pitanje dali sam gledala neki film. Naravno da nisam kada ne palim tv već dobrih nekoliko mjeseci. «Znaš onaj organ koji sadrži sjećanja, nemogu se sada sjetiti kako se zove. Uglavnom kod tebe taj organ radi prekovremeno, i kad god osjetiš miris ili čuješ pjesmu koja te na nekoga podsjeća padaš u depresiju.» Bila je u pravu. «Ti si dijete po godinama, znam da jesi, uostalom ja sam samo dvije godine starija, ali poznajem te. Da ti si dijete koje nije dijete, dijete po izgledu možda, ali u toj tvojoj glavici i u tvom srcu nisi dijete. Ti si na razini već daleko odrasla 20to godišnjaka ako ne i više. Ti nisi jaka osoba. Jako si emotivna i kada te nešto podsjeti na nekoga odmah se slamaš, i iz očiju ti izviruje tuga, odišeš patnjom i boli. Ako te oči ne izdaju, ruke to redovito čine. Želiš li pokazati da si jaka, a znam da želiš i znam da želiš što prije odrasti u potpunosti moraš preko toga preći kao preko još jedne obične pjesme na radiju, kao još jedna obična mirisa za 80kn. Nemoj dozvoliti da te takve stvari slamaju, post ćeš mi u kroničnu, pa maničnu depresiju, pa češ imati još izraženije tendencije za suicid, a nakon toga slijedi ona zadnja stepenica, suicid. Oprosti što ti ovo moram reći, ali mislim da si sposobna to učiniti, jer po svemu što govoriš, pišeš, po tome kakav pogled imaju tvoje oči znam da si sposobna to učiniti. Uostalom pogledaj svoju ruku, a šta je to nego još jedan dokaz da si to spremna učiniti. U tebi se skriva toliko boli, toliko tužnih uspomena. Znam da sam samo dvije godine starija, ali poznajem te kao nitko drugi, znam te u dušu. Ovo je možda sada zvučalo kao ispiranje mozga, ali nije bilo. Rekla sam ti to za tvoje dobro. Neželim da propadneš, ne želim da se uništiš.» Zagrlila me i rekla ajmo polako odavde. Svaka je zakoračila na svoju stranu. Nisam bila u stanju ništa govoriti, znala sam da je sve što je rekla istina, da je tako. Ušla sam u stan, bez riječi. Zatvorila vrata svoje sobe, pustila cd i zavalila se u fotelju. Cijelu noć sam razmišljala o njenim riječima, cijelu noć sam prevrtala po mislima svakakve gluposti. A opet znam da već možda sutra ću posustati.
osjetiš li ikada bol u srcu, ono nešto što te stegne i natjera da pomisliš na nekoga koga voliš, kada želiš govoriti, a ne možeš, misliš li na osobu za koju bi dala sve na svijetu, gledaš li ikada u strop prevrčući po najdubljem kutku svoje duše u kojoj se skriva malo čudo ljubavi, plačeš li, jer nemožeš osjetiti topli dodir i meke usne odabranice svoje....poželiš li se na glas izderati to predivno ime, pogledati u te oči koje skrivaju ljubav, a nema ih pored tebe, i tako si sama i osjećaš se nesigurno i napušteno i nema nikoga da ti obriše suzu, da te privije uz sebe i kaže ti da te voli...ponekada lutaš li besciljno, tragajući za otiscima njenih stopala, za vlasima njene kose koje je putem izgubila, zaspeš li osjećajući miris njene kože, zapitaš li se dali te ona zaista voli, i kada svlačiš majcu osjetiš miris njena parfema i priviješ ju uz svoje tada golo tijelo zamišljajući da je to ona, da te grle njene ruke, je li ti poznat onaj osjećaj kada joj želiš toliko toga reći, ali nemožeš naći ni jednu rijeć koja bi nje bila dostojna...i prisjetiš se da si ipak u tome trenu sama, da nje nema kraj tebe, uzimaš cigaretu i prinosiš je usnama umjesto njenih usana, udišeš spoj nikotina i katrana koji ti uništavaju pluća i svijesna si toga, ali ipak truješ se svijesno jer kako kažu s cigaretom nikada nisi sam...i legneš na tlo u parku prepunom ljudi i gledaju te kao luđaka, ali ne smeta te jer ovo budi uspomene, kada si sa njom ležala na travi i u toj predivnoj noći brojila zvijezde, ustaješ i odlaziš do one vaše klupe u kojoj su urezana vaša imena, klupe koja zna sve vaše priče i poznaje vaše osjećaje....zaspeš tako sa nekim čudnim osjećajem u sebi i probudiš se sa medvjedićem kojeg ti je ona poklonila, nasmiješ se, i dohvatiš mobitel, utipkaš njen broj tek toliko da čuješ njen glas, i čekaš........
malaksavo tijelo u kutu
